


Peanut Butter And Sadness

by curryspiceandeverythingnice



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, College, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve, Sam Wilson is So Done, What Even Did I Write, i fixed the sharon and steve thing, mostly bucky's pining, seriously he wants to throw everyone out a window
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7909633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curryspiceandeverythingnice/pseuds/curryspiceandeverythingnice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a fictional world where after CACW Bucky doesn’t get frozen and Bucky lives happily (ish) ever after in Stark Tower, Steve and Bucky go back to school. Steve is with Sharon… until he’s not. Friends to Lovers AU that involves a lot of pining, Sam's done-ness, and peanut butter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Minions

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beautiful beta Melis (snarkysocialist). Also, sorry to all my friends who are in this fic in some form. 
> 
> Come say hi to me on tumblr at curry-spice-and-everything-nice.
> 
> Constructive criticism is always appreciated! (Although this is my first fic please have mercy)

“Steve?! What are you doing?!”

Bucky Barnes, panting, was standing in the doorway looking at Steve inside Bucky’s room. Steve, of course, was frozen at this point, his face reflecting panic, fear and confusion. He was holding a paintbrush above a tin paint can, which he held with his other hand. Steve had laid down a sheet over Bucky’s bed and seemed to be painting on the wall next to it.

“I’m sorry, Barnes, he didn’t believe me!” said Sam Wilson, his voice getting louder as he came running down the hallway towards them.

“Steve. Answers. Now.” Bucky punctuated. 

Steve sighed and put the paintbrush back in the can. Bucky’s eyes went from Steve’s face down to the paint can, and then he saw the label. 

Instantly, he shouted with exasperation, “JARVIS! Shutters down!” 

Almost immediately blinds descended on Bucky’s windows, and Bucky looked at the wall. Then his gaze went back to Steve, who was trying to keep a straight face. In the background, Sam was laughing. 

It was April Fools' Day. Sam was supposed to distract Bucky while Steve used glow in the dark paint on the wall next to Bucky's bed. He planned on covering it with minions. 

Bucky had made the mistake of telling Steve that he was more than a little peeved by the yellow creatures, when they were watching Despicable Me a few weeks ago.

“They have creepy eyes, Steve. They’re fucking looking into your soul, or somethin’," Bucky had said, which of course had only driven Steve into a fit of laughter. Knowing that April Fools' was soon to come, Steve formulated what he thought would be an amazing plan.

But now Steve’s plan had tragically gone awry. There would be no scaring (or scarring) of Bucky when he turned off his lights that night -- imagining that he was safe from the bittersweet nature of April Fools' Day. No confusion nor fear that may have arisen if Bucky thought he was suddenly in a nightmare. But the screaming and shouting that would have been aimed at Steve the next morning? That had just been moved to right now.

“What the fuck, Steve. What the. This… this is not what I was hoping you’d learn from art school, my man,” Bucky said, as he was confusedly waving his arms at the wall. “Take it down! Now! Get rid of it!”

“Oh come on, Buck. This is great,” Steve said, still smiling. He had a glint in his eye that Bucky couldn't ignore.

For some reason, after all the fighting and all the Zemo, Steve had decided he wanted to go to art school. “We can do whatever we want now, Buck. Why not?” Steve had pleaded.

So Steve was trying to get an art degree and had forced Bucky to take some art classes as well. To which Barnes was all but happy about, but it was Steve, and he couldn't say no to Steve.

Most of the art kids seemed absolutely ecstatic to get the chance to see Steve and Bucky in class twice a week. Those kids were able to sit in class with national heroes. Steve and Bucky received plenty of stares from everyone, including the teacher on the first day of class who thought the names on her roster were a prank and nothing more.

When Steve started going to school regularly, it didn’t take very long for news agencies to investigate what was happening. News agencies ran wild with “artsy Cap” and sometimes Steve and Bucky would catch a reporter around school trying to take pictures of them. Steve then decided to do a few interviews, and started on his mission to convince Congress to spend more money on arts education. Steve thought it was ridiculous the government spent so much money on the military, but couldn't spend enough on schools for the leaders of the future. 

“The Golden Boy is back at it again," shouted Tony with an eye roll as he watched the news coverage on TV one morning. He knew Steve was still sleeping, but he hoped that Steve would hear him. Natasha and Bucky, who were watching too, looked at each other knowingly. 

Tony had specifically told Steve, when everyone moved into Stark Tower, that he needed to take a chill pill. Or several. The whole container if possible.

“Steve is Steve. You can’t stop him,” countered Natasha.

“But I will always try," responded Tony.

When Steve walked in, hair ruffled and looking sleepy as hell, Tony shouted, “This is the opposite of what I told you to do!” 

“Good morning, Buck, Natasha,” he greeted while nodding in their direction. 

Then he looked pointedly at Tony, “I'm making a positive impact, Tony, isn’t this what the Avengers are for?” Steve asked.

“I told you, dude, you need to relax,” Tony responded. 

“Anyway, I have to go. I have a date with Sharon soon. Bye, guys,” Steve stated, not noticing how Bucky turned away from Steve to look outside.

Bucky knew what was happening. He imagined it sometimes, when they were growing up, and it started to happen with Peggy. But to have it actually happening in front of him was entirely different. Steve was in a relationship with Sharon Carter. Bucky should have been happy for him, shouldn’t he have? After all this time, Steve deserved to be happy.

But it just didn’t feel right.


	2. A Month Or So Ago

Sam and Bucky were watching television in the living room -- on opposite ends of the couch, of course. Bucky hated Sam. Maybe it was jealousy. Maybe it was just his personality. But there was no mistaking it: Sam pissed him off. Always.

Bucky was eating peanut butter straight out of the jar. For some reason he had taken quite a liking to peanut butter. He craved it often. Sam always regarded him with mild aversion when he started just devouring it whenever possible.

On the couch they were watching the end of Snakes on a Plane together in silence. Bucky thought they were both enjoying it, until they were interrupted.

“Hey, Buck, Sam?” Steve said as he came into the living room.

“Yeah, Steve-O?” Sam replied. Bucky rolled his eyes.

“I don't know if I like her.”

Bucky suddenly snapped to attention as Steve continued. 

“When I kiss her… it doesn't feel like anything. There are no sparks. It's nearly a chore. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. But she would have told me… right? Maybe I don't like kissing. I don't know.” Steve explained. His voice was filled with confusion and resignation. 

Bucky was trying to balance the sadness in his chest from Steve’s fallen expression with the relief and excitement he was feeling because this was exactly what he was hoping for. Maybe Steve would leave Sharon and just maybe Steve would end up with him. 

Not that Bucky didn't have his own concerns. He didn't even know if he liked Steve in that way. All he knew was that when Steve was with Sharon, he wasn't with Bucky. When Steve was talking about Sharon, he wasn't talking about Bucky. When Steve was thinking about Sharon, he wasn't thinking about Bucky. And Bucky lived for Steve’s attention. 

Steve already seemed on the edge about Sharon. Bucky just needed to push a little. 

“Maybe… maybe you'll be happier with someone else.” Bucky suggested.

Sam turned to look at him with utter disbelief. Steve looked up with a questioning look.

“I mean… if you don't like being with her, it makes sense to try to look for someone else, right?” Bucky said. “Maybe there's someone different--”

“Or he just needs to get used to being with another human being. I mean, the guy is kind out of touch ya know,” Sam interrupted. Sam looked over at Bucky like he knew exactly what Bucky was trying to do. 

It always felt like Sam could see right through him. It was... creepy. 

“So maybe Steve isn't as experienced. But he should trust his gut,” Bucky shot back.

“But he should keep trying! Maybe Sharon is perfect for him! Maybe he just needs to learn to be with another person,” Sam argued.

“Sharon is not perfect for him,” Bucky said adamantly. 

“And we know this… how? Hmm, Mr-Wise-Guy?” Sam asked. 

“Because!” Bucky responded.

“Because?” 

“Because I…”

“Because you…?”

Because I'm perfect for him, damnit. 

“Because I… know... Steve better than anyone,” Bucky finished with a sheepish expression. 

Sam looked at Bucky like he was about to call his bullshit but he was stopped by Steve’s “I'm gonna go think more about this more. Bye." followed by a hasty exit. 

“James, what the hell?!” snapped Sam.

“I've been friends with Steve for a long time so I know that he could do better!” Bucky continued. 

Sam just stared at him for a few seconds. “'Doing better' meaning 'being with you?'”

Bucky looked at Sam. Sam looked at Bucky. There was no point in denying it because Sam is Sam and somehow Sam knows. 

“Maybe.”

“You really should tell him, you know.”

“I will… eventually.”

“You better.” Sam said and then went back to his room. 

When Bucky turned back to the television, some reality show was on. There was a couple kissing while a narrator talked about true love. 

Bucky sighed loudly as he turned off the TV.

***

Sharon was sitting in the diner Steve had wanted to meet at, twirling her hair and reading the menu. The diner was playing some 80s music. The other customers were minding their own business, but then Steve walked in. One of the waitresses opened her eyes wide and she hurriedly tapped on another waitress’ shoulder. A few customers who turned to see who came in began staring. 

I can't believe I'm dating Captain America, Sharon thought to herself. She was smirking at the waitresses, who at this point were blatantly gawking at them, when Steve sat down across from her. 

Sharon thought Steve was great. He was incredibly charming, modest, and kind. He was also incredibly attractive. They'd only gone out a few times after their first kiss, but she thought it was going well. Although Steve didn't seem entirely comfortable with touching her. A few days ago, they went on a date to the movies, where they watched the new Ghostbusters film. When Steve drove her home, she had leaned over to the driver's side of the car to kiss him. Then she grabbed his shirt and deepened the kiss, and Steve was reciprocating, but he didn't quite seem like he was enjoying it. But he seemed amiable the next day when they got coffee, so Sharon thought it might just be because Steve hadn't done that in a long time. 

“Hey Sharon,” Steve greeted with a small smile, as he came over to the table.

“Hey Steve, how's it going?” Sharon responded.

They made conversation about Steve's art school, her work at Shield, and their favourite foods before Sharon had to get back to work. The whole time Sharon was thinking about Steve’s small smile, and how it was really nice. But she had to go back to Shield, where she would inevitably get a few eyebrow raises at the whole dating Captain America thing, and then return to work.


	3. Peanut Butter and Sadness

Bucky was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling on a Saturday night. He stayed completely motionless, his brain turning and churning out thoughts and thoughts and more stupid thoughts. His blank eyes were focused on the white ceiling, but his mind was only focused on one thing. It was focused on Steve, like it usually was. But this time, he was very consciously thinking about Steve. If he spent some time thinking about it, he was sure he’d figure out a solution to his Steve problem. 

Does he even like Steve? He thinks he loves Steve. Steve is just so… Steve. Steve is his. His own man. His friend. His brotha from another motha. (He’d heard Sam say that at some point. Why does the English language have phrases like this?) Steve and Bucky go together like peanut butter and jelly. But are peanut butter and jelly platonic or not? They’re always touching, so he guesses they probably aren’t platonic?

Hold up. What the fuck was his brain even doing? This is why he doesn’t like to think about Steve. Weird shit happens. 

He wants to tell Steve that he shouldn’t date Sharon without sounding like a jackass or a jealous and jilted lover. Is that even possible? Why is Steve even dating Sharon, when he could… not date her? Grgh. Bucky knows he’s jealous, Bucky knows he’s illogically jealous, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t know why but he just wants Steve all to himself. 

He also knows that this sounds like he’s in love with Steve.

But he isn’t, is he? He loves Steve. But is he in love with Steve? 

This was frustrating because Bucky usually knew what he wanted, and he wasn't bad at going out or taking it. He was Bucky Barnes, for fucks sake, he could charm anyone. So he needed to take what he wanted. And what he knew he truly wanted was for Steve to stop seeing Sharon.

 

Steve is sleeping peacefully on the bed on his back, head turned to the right. Then, there is a hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

Steve does a quick mental check to make sure it’s not his hand, then grabs the intruder’s wrist quickly with his right hand and pulls. At the same point he raises his right knee in an attempt to kick at the intruder’s stomach. He smells Bucky before he sees Bucky, but he does both of those things after said knee has met said stomach.

“Fucking hell, Steve, I just wanted to talk!” Bucky angrily whispers from the floor.

Steve realises what just happened and jumps out of bed and sits in front of Bucky, hands on both his shoulders. Steve looks at Bucky intently.

“I am so so sorry Buck. Ggrgh. Fuck. Sorry. Does it hurt?” Steve asks.

“I’m a freaking supersoldier I’ll be fine. But you crazy,” Bucky responds.

“I know what’ll make it better,” Steve says with a smirk.

Before Bucky realises what that means Steve’s fingers are already travelling toward his lower stomach. Steve is smirking and looking right at Bucky. Bucky is really confused because… it seems… like Steve is going for.... 

His waist. Steve is going just above his waistband and Bucky would blush if he had the time but he starts laughing. Hysterically. Because Steve is tickling him. What did Bucky think? That this was one of his wet dreams come to life? That Steve was just going to touch his dick like this was one of his dreams? Of course this is what he wanted. Goddamnit.

In the meantime Bucky’s whole body is doing what most of us do when tickled: spazz uncontrollably. 

When Bucky looks up, Steve is looking at him and smirking. Steve’s fingers are attacking him from all sorts of places, and Bucky is rendered hopeless to this torture.

Eventually, Bucky starts kicking at Steve, Steve stops, and they both take a minute to calm down. 

“Okay, what did you want to talk about?” Steve asked.

“Just… how are you and Sharon doing?” Bucky responded.

Steve started laughing, “That was the reason to wake me up at god-knows what in the morning?”

Bucky just looked at him in earnest.

“Okay, okay,” Steve started. “It’s going okay, I think? Maybe? Who knows. I don’t think I’ll do anything about anything yet.”

Bucky paused, staring at the floor, before he said, “I just don’t want you to be stuck in something you don’t like. There might be someone out there who’s better and you know, you don’t have to feel like you have to be with someone for... to keep up with the public, or to keep up with some sense of duty you think you have.” 

When Bucky looked up, Steve was unreadable. 

“You think I’m with Sharon to appease the press? You think I’m lying to her for the public?” he says softly, but his voice cracks a little bit at the end.

Hold up, what? That wasn’t it. Shit. Shit, shit, shit--

“Because I don’t… I can’t… believe you would think that, Buck.” Steve continued.

“No, that’s not--” Bucky tries, but Steve is already standing up and opening the door. “Get out,” are the last words he says to Bucky that night.

Steve stands there and he looks disappointed. Sad, even. Bucky’s mind is racing trying to walk back the words, or figure out how things went so, so wrong, but Steve’s expression hardens so Bucky decides to get out.

As soon as Bucky steps into the hallway, Steve closes the door behind him. Bucky walks back to his room trying to process exactly what happened that night.

 

Steve goes back to bed but he can’t fall asleep.

He cannot fucking believe Bucky. Why would he say that? Yeah, maybe he doesn’t feel for Sharon as much as Sharon feels for him, but he’s not with her just to appease the public or some bullshit like that. Steve is a good person. How can Bucky not know that?

Steve doesn’t think that Bucky meant to say that exactly. He knows there was some misunderstanding, but at some level Bucky still implied that Steve was dating Sharon for any reason other than he liked her.

Which was absurd, since Steve wasn’t even sure he liked her.

Crap, back to this again.

Steve was having a rough time. He missed a big chunk of history and now he’s a super soldier and his life is basically the opposite of normal at every turn. Back in the 1940s, Steve didn’t know if he would ever be with a girl. Then he met Peggy, and he really loved her. She was pretty and intelligent and kind. He knew he had deep feelings for her, but he didn’t have much time with her to explore them. 

Sharon is also pretty and intelligent and kind. But he somehow doesn’t have the same reaction to her. He didn’t perk up when he sees her, or smile softly when he thinks about her. It was difficult. He didn’t know if he could ever feel that way with Sharon because he had loved Peggy so much. 

And then there is Bucky. Bucky who has been with him through everything. Bucky who he broke laws to save. Bucky who he would do anything for. If Steve didn’t know any better, he would guess that Bucky was jealous of Sharon, but that didn’t make any sense. Bucky surely must have known that he would eventually be with other people. Bucky was with lots of people before the war. Granted, a lot of times Bucky would be with other people while still being with Steve. 

Then, it hits him. Maybe he could take Bucky on a double date with Sharon! Maybe that would make him feel better. 

But Bucky needs to apologise first, and Steve needs to forgive him.


	4. Steve Gets An F in Problem Solving

“What the fuck did you do, Barnes?!” Sam shouts. In Bucky’s room. Standing above Bucky’s bed.

“W kfna hd ad ite,” Bucky said into the pillow, smushing his face into the pillow hoping it would swallow him whole.

“JARVIS! Shutters UP!” Sam shouts. 

“No no no no! Stop! Fine, I’m up,” Bucky says and sits up quickly. But it was too late. The shutters were ascending and the sunlight from the bright morning was shining into his eyes. “Fucking hell.”

“What did you say to Steve?” Sam asks

“Huh?” Bucky responds. Then it hits him. All of last night. Oh shit. “Shit, right. Last night. I didn’t mean to--”

“You didn’t mean to?! You insulted him and you left! Why? What were you doing? What were you thinking?” Sam snaps.

“I was just thinking that maybe I could get him to stop seeing Sharon… or something,” Bucky answers.

“Well you definitely accomplished the ‘or something’ part of your plan,” Sam responds.

“Is he okay?” Bucky asks. 

From somewhere in the living room, Steve shouts, “Sam? Where did you go?” His voice indicates that he is coming to find them. 

Bucky’s eyes go wide and he hopes that Steve isn’t going to talk to him. But Bucky knows Steve. So Bucky knows that that’s exactly what is going to happen. 

Sam looks at Bucky accusingly, “This ain’t over, kid.” Bucky nods in response.

Steve comes to stand in the doorframe of Bucky’s room.

“Hey,” he says.

“Morning,” Bucky responds.

“Hey, Sam? Could you give us a bit?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll whip up some breakfast or something,” Sam says as he moves away from Bucky’s bed towards the door.

“Thanks for attacking him on my behalf,” Steve whispers as Sam walks by him. Sam chuckles as he walks away. 

Steve shuts the door and comes toward a panicking Bucky. Steve sits on the corner of the bed and just looks at Bucky. They look at each other for a while. Bucky’s eyes go from panicked to regretful. 

Bucky takes a deep breath and then blurts, “I’m so sorry, Steve, I didn’t mean to imply that you would lie to her for the sake of appearances or anything like that because I know you’re a good person and I wish I could take it all back and you deserve to be happy and I am happy for you and I’m so sorry.”

Steve continues to look at him, and after a bit he gives Bucky a small smile. Bucky breathes a big sigh of relief.

“I think I know what’s going on, Buck. You’re jealous,” Steve responds. 

Fuck. Fuck no. Nope. No no. Bucky needs to jump out the window or something, and his body language reflects this when his eyes widen suddenly, his hands fist the sheets, and he stares straight down at the bed.

“And it’s perfectly natural,” Steve continues. “I spent a lot of time thinking about it, actually. We were really close before the war and although we still live together, there are a few things about my situation with Sharon that I know you’d like to change.”

Oh no. This is when Steve tells Bucky he knows that Bucky is jealous because he wants Steve. And then Steve “gently lets Bucky down”. When Steve tells Bucky he doesn’t like him that way, and that he’s going to be happy with Sharon. And all Bucky can do is sit there and take it. 

“And I have a solution. I think it’ll make you feel better.” 

Dammit, Steve is still talking.

“You can come with us on our next date.”

Wait, what? 

“Before the war we went on double dates a lot, but now my time with Sharon excludes you completely, so this way you will be more included. And you’ll be able to bring someone, of course. Anyone you want. We know how well the Barnes charm works, don’t we?” Steve laughs. 

Bucky looks up and Steve is looking at him with the sweetest smile, his innocent eyes reflecting the fact that he missed the mark entirely.

After a minute, Bucky realises that he still hasn’t responded.

“Um, thanks Steve, I’ll think about it?” Bucky answers.

“Take all the time you need, Buck. And remember I’ll always be with you, okay?” Steve says as he gets up off Bucky’s bed and heads towards the door. “Also, you should come out soon. Sam did say he was making breakfast.”

Steve closes the door behind him, leaving Bucky to wonder, is this another dream? What’s happening?

Of course Steve thought Bucky felt left out. And he is sure that Steve feels like he’s helping Bucky feel less excluded. Except for the fact that going on a double date with Sharon and Steve might actually kill him. Seeing them smile at each other, seeing them graze their hands by the others, or even outright hold hands, seeing them kiss at the end, all of it. It would kill him.

But Steve asked him, so he has to do it. Maybe he could make up a story about having an art project, but Steve will keep asking. And if Bucky tells Steve that he doesn’t want to go, Steve will be hurt. And Bucky definitely can’t tell Steve that he can’t go because he has feelings for Steve that hurt him every time he sees Steve with Sharon.

Bucky turns back and looks at his pillow, then makes a face-first dive into it. Maybe he’ll feel better after a nap.

He sleeps for another four hours. But he’s a superhero and it’s the weekend, so who cares?

***

Monday morning is school time. 

Bucky still hasn’t talked to Steve since the whole mishap happened, or seen Steve, actually, now that he thinks about it. They have class together at 11, which is in a few hours. Steve is probably still sleeping.

In a twist of fortune, Bucky isn’t excited about seeing Steve. Not at all. But Bucky promised to go to art classes with Steve, and Bucky doesn’t have any sane reason to avoid Steve in any capacity. Yet, he still wants to hide forever.

Bucky still hasn’t figured out how he’s going to get a date or be civil for four hours around his crush and his crush’s girlfriend. Sigh.

Bucky gets up out of bed and gets dressed. He wears a black shirt with blue navy pants. He heads out to the kitchen and sees Natasha drinking her morning coffee and reading the paper. 

Bucky reaches up into the cabinet to grab a mug. He grabs the pot of coffee and pours some into his mug. He puts the pot back and brings the mug up to his lips. Ah, the smooth feeling of caffeine about to give him the energy to get through the day.

“So, I heard you’re going on a date with Steve,” she says casually without looking at Bucky.

Bucky nearly spits out the coffee.

“What?! I’m not—Steve is? Not me. No?” Bucky splutters while Natasha laughs hysterically at him.

“That reaction right there? Priceless,” Natasha smirks. “Don’t worry, I know that it’s you going on a double date with Steve and his girlfriend. Not on a date with Steve. But we all know that’s all you really want, isn’t it?”

Bucky turns red, and tries (and fails) to save face. “Hahaha? Steve? I don’t like Steve! Steve is… just a friend. A really good friend.”

“Yeah, a good friend you want to pound into you then tell you he loves you. Just friends,” she counters. 

“I’m out,” Bucky says as he turns to leave the kitchen.

“Not to Steve you’re not!” Natasha sniggers from behind him.

This is going to be a long life.


	5. Oh No

Steve wakes up at around 9. They hang around Stark Tower for a bit and then head to class. For some reason Steve looks really good today. He’s wearing tight pants. They are very nice tight pants. They spend most of their time walking together, so Bucky can’t just stare at Steve’s ass, but he’d like to. In a fictional world where everything was perfect and revolved around him, he would.

But here they are, going to class. They sit at their easels that are located next to each other. Bucky’s stool is a little wobbly. He thinks that one day it might fall. 

Everyone is painting a model today. He’s dressed like a mailman. Why on earth are they painting a mailman? Honestly going to school has given Bucky more questions than answers.

He turns to Steve who is completely in the zone. He started with the mailman’s eyes, and he did a terrific job. Steve’s fingers holding the paintbrush are magic. It looks like the paint, Steve, Steve’s hands, and the easel are all one congruous being. He brushes with varying strokes and Bucky is in a trance. Steve’s frowning a little bit, focusing and trying to get it to look just right. Then, Steve turns to Bucky, catching him staring, and softly smiles. Bucky smiles back.

He is so in love with Steve Rogers.

“Hey Steve?” Bucky whispers.

“Yeah, Buck?” Steve answers.

“When’s your next date with Sharon?” Bucky asks.

Steve smiles big. Bucky feels like shit.

***

“Natasha, I need—” Bucky starts.

“No,” Natasha finishes.

“Come on, you don’t even—” Bucky whines.

“I don’t even know what you want? Yes, I do. You want me to be your date when you’re with Steve. And the answer is no. I don’t need to sit next to you while you make heart eyes at Steve and feel sad the whole night. Just don’t go, man. Stay at home,” Natasha argues.

“But Steve asked me--” 

“Steve can suck it. If he knew what was really happening, he wouldn’t want you to go either.”

“I can’t just reject him, Nat.”

“He’ll be fine. Steve is a big boy.”

Bucky takes a deep sigh. “Pleeeeeaaaassseeeee?” he whines.

“No.”

“I’ll do anything.”

That peaks her interest. Natasha looks at him for a bit. 

“Anything I ask of you?” she inquires.

Shit. This isn’t going to be good. “Yeah, yeah. Anything. If you come with me and be nice,” Bucky replies.

“Done. When?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“You’re going to regret all of this.”

“I already do.”


	6. Goner

It’s the night of the date.

Bucky and Nat and Sharon and Steve and a favour that Bucky owes Nat. What could go wrong?

Bucky, in a suit, walks over to Nat’s room and knocks. Clint answers the door and squints at him. “Be nice, Barnes.” 

Bucky responds with a look of confusion, but before he can respond Nat barges through Clint in a stunning purple dress. “Let’s go.”

Steve is supposed to meet them there with Sharon. They went on a walk or something before. 

Bucky and Nat take the elevator down and head out, arms linked together. 

“Thanks for doing this, Nat,” Bucky says.

“Don’t worry. You’ll make it up to me,” she responds.

Bucky gulps. Why? He asks himself yet again. He seems to do that a lot.

As they walk down the streets of New York, a few people stop to gasp or gawk. At one point, someone across the street even yells over, “Thanks for saving us!” That is the highlight of Bucky’s night. It even makes Natasha smile.

They get to the Italian restaurant and walk inside. The waiter in front looks at them and his eyes widen. 

“Um, this way, Ms. Widow and Mr. Soldier,” he mutters awkwardly.

Bucky and Nat both laugh and follow him into the restaurant.

As soon as he sees Steve he knows everything from here on in is going to go downhill.

Steve is radiant, as usual. But now he’s dressed formally. He’s too busy staring at Steve’s beauty to notice that Sharon greets him until Nat elbows him in the side. 

“Yes, sorry, hi Sharon, lovely to see you again,” Bucky says. He turns to Nat, who is looking at him with a pointed look.

They both sit down, Sharon and Steve on one side of the table, and Nat and Bucky on the other. The waiter from before asks if they’d like anything to drink. Steve and Bucky get soda, and Nat and Sharon get wine.

“I would too, you know, if drinking did anything to me anymore,” Bucky says to Sharon. “But here I am, in this sad world without alcohol.”

Sharon laughs. Steve smiles at her. Then he turns to Bucky, “we need more of the stuff Thor gave me that one night.”

“You mean the one night when everything went to shit?” Natasha asks. Sharon and Bucky start laughing. Steve rolls her eyes at her.

They order food, and it’s good food. They talk and they chat and Bucky isn’t having too bad of a time. He’s at dinner with a beautiful girl and his best friend and Sharon. Sharon’s not too bad. Bucky doesn’t really know her, but she is pretty. And she is very smart.

Sharon turns to look at Steve and laugh, and Bucky sees the twinkle in her eye. She’s gone on him. When Bucky looks down at the table, she can see that Sharon’s hand is lying on Steve’s, holding it loosely. They look so perfect with each other. There’s no way Bucky could break this up. They’re happy. He looks up at Steve, who’s frowning at him. Shit.

“Buck—” Steve starts, but he can’t finish because Bucky quickly says something about a bathroom and practically runs away from the table. 

He crashes into the men’s room, rushing to the sink and leaning on it with his hands. There’s a song playing in the bathroom.

_I’m a goner, somebody catch my breath, I wanna be known by you._

What a fitting song, Bucky thinks. This is too much. Overwhelming. He washes his face with water and wills the tears to stay in his eyes as he looks in the mirror.

It’s okay that Steve is happy with someone else. Bucky just needs to get over him. Bucky can do it. He looks at his reflection and hardens his expression. He can do this.

_Don’t let me be gone._

Steve comes into the bathroom behind him and sees the water dripping off his face.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me,” Steve says gently. “I’m with you, Buck. Until the end of—”

Bucky crashes into Steve, hugging him tightly. He couldn’t take it. Steve just standing there and worrying and wondering what this could be about. Maybe he’ll tell Steve that he’s flashing back to when he was the winter soldier. But for right now he just lets himself be held by his best friend.

Steve’s hands come up to run through Bucky’s thick, black hair. Bucky somehow relaxes even more into Steve. 

“It’s going to be okay, Buck,” Steve whispers into Bucky’s hair.

Yeah, it’s going to be just peachy.

 

They emerge from the bathroom a few minutes later, Bucky’s eyes still a little red. Sharon asks if he feels all right, and he responds that he should go home. 

He thanks them for a nice night. Natasha asks if she should come with, but he asks her to stay and have fun.

Steve is still looking at him, visibly worried. Natasha is, too.

He knows he should explain more. But he needs some time to process. So he leaves the restaurant and starts walking. Before he knows it he’s at the river. He wasn’t even thinking, really, he was just mindlessly walking. He walks around until he sees the perfect spot: in the dark, near the river, where a flat rock looks like a perfect seat. As he walks there he kicks at the sand with his shoes, every kick having more force than the last one. He sits down and starts sobbing. 

In a suit now tinged with sand and dust, a superhero sits on the bank of the New York River wondering why it had to be this way.


	7. Falling

He’s shooting at Captain America. His hand is trying to get behind Captain America’s shield so his gun will hit him. He’s trying to kill him. This is his mission.

He has to kill him. Captain America cannot succeed so the Winter Soldier must stop him.

His gun goes flying out of his hand, so he grabs his knife and goes at Captain America. Captain America must die.

Captain America wins a small battle and the Winter Soldier gets knocked off balance. In the small amount of time he has, Captain America goes back to the main console with his chip. The Winter Soldier is failing. Captain America is winning.

The fighting continues. It’s all muscle memory for him. Dismantle the enemy. It’s simple.

Captain America, however, is strong. They both go flying off onto the platform below. Captain America has to go through him to get the chip. But Captain America succeeds.

Captain America kicks him onto the glass below. But the Winter Soldier gets the shield and he throws it at Captain America. They fight some more. He tries to stab Captain America.

But then Captain America tackles him. His arm is broken now. Captain America is no longer Captain America. He must be stopped. The Winter Soldiers vision goes red. Captain America must die. 

So he relaxes. He tricks Captain America who lets him go. He is the winner this round. He aims at Captain America as he goes hopping up and shoots. But Captain America keeps going. He’s not dead. So he keeps shooting. 

But Captain America succeeds. 

The next thing he knows, he’s trapped under a large metal ring. He can’t move. Then he sees a flash of blue, and Captain America is coming toward him, limping. Going to finish him off. That’s what a proper soldier would do.

But that’s not what Captain America does, because slowly the weight on his chest is being lifted off and now he can finally finish Captain America.

So he does what he is programmed to do. He hurts Captain America. He punches and punches and punches and punches and Captain America is still saying those stupid words and then suddenly, it’s Steve.

Steve.

He’s punching Steve.

Bucky is punching his Steve.

Then his Steve is falling, and he’s screaming, and there are two people in him, somehow. And the two people inside him are fighting and battling but Steve is falling and he has to get his Steve and he’s panicking because Steve—

“Wake up, sir, please?”

When he opens his eyes and turns to his shoulder he sees it being poked with a stick. The other end of the stick is connected to a very young girl, wearing a green beanie with dark brown hair that looks like it had been dyed red a while ago. 

The girl, standing a few feet away, looks pretty terrified.

“You were flailing a bit… and you were crying… so I wanted to make sure that you were okay,” she says quietly.

Bucky sits up. He’s still in his suit, which is now pretty filthy. He’s working on sitting up when everything makes sense again. He must have fallen asleep at some point, and in his distressed state dreamed of when Steve fell out of the SHIELD copters. Because of him.

“Um, I’m sorry. I mean, thank you. I really appreciate it,” Bucky says.

“Are you… the superhero from the news?” she asks.

Oh joy. Bucky can see the headline, Supervillain turned superhero is a big mess near the River.

“Yeah… sorry about that.”

“Did you have a bad dream?”

“Yes.”

“I have those a lot, too.”

“Where are your parents?”

The girl smiles softly. “People ask me that a lot, too”

“You look young.”

“I’m 12. But my parents died a long time ago, so I don’t really live anywhere. I live here and there. I walk around a lot. I like spending time at the river though.”

Bucky looks up at her and really takes her in. She’s wearing tattered clothes, and she’s holding a small teddy bear who has lost one eye. 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says. He doesn’t know what to say. This girl, only 12, has to deal with life without parents, without a home, without many resources. He wants to take her back to Stark Tower and house her there, but he knows he can’t. ‘Why stop at one?’ is what people will say. But Bucky thinks he’ll take her back any way. At least get her some food and fresh clothing.

“Why were you screaming?” the girl asks.

Shit. “Um, I was remembering some bad things that happened,” he responds.

“Bad things always happen. It gets a little bit frustrating after a while, but we make do, don’t we? Us humans,” she laughs. “But you’re not really human are you?”

Bucky freezes. He isn’t, not technically. What is he? Hydra turned him into an animal. Hydra—

“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean anything by it. You’re not any worse for all the things that you’ve done,” she rushes, looking earnestly at Bucky.

“But what if I am?”

The girl smiles softly.

“Would you do anything to protect the people you love?” she asks.

Bucky stares at her. “Of course,” he says.

“Then you’re as good as anyone can be.”

His mind is churning because, of course he would protect his friends. He would do anything for them (even Tony). But he’s still a monster, isn’t he? He feels a whoosh and when he looks up, the girl is gone. 

“Hello?” he says out loud. Nothing.

Maybe she was imaginary. He’ll never know. He picks himself up, sighs, and begins the trek back to Stark Tower.

***

Sharon had a weird night.

Steve was acting fine until Bucky showed up. But then Steve became a little weird, and then Bucky became really weird, and then Steve went to help him become less weird but Steve returned even weirder and they parted awkwardly.

And now Steve was eating at her concentration at work. Bad, bad, bad. She was even chewing a pen, that’s how anxious she was. 

Is Steve really a good idea? Is he? He had so many pros, but the list of cons is getting bigger.

Did she ever do something to offend Bucky? Steve says he’s still adjusting sometimes, but he always seems put off by solely her existence. He always seems uncomfortable when she’s around. She has never been with him and read him as relaxed. 

Last night was another level of discomfort entirely. Everytime Sharon moved close to Steve, he would redirect his gaze to something else. And that only makes sense if… he’s jealous.

Bucky likes Steve. Like, really likes Steve. Likes Steve so much that he can’t stand Sharon. 

It makes a lot of sense, now. All that’s left to figure out is if Steve feels the same.

It would explain a lot of the standoff-ish-ness, and the way that Steve doesn’t feel like embracing her much.

She takes her pen out of her mouth and looks at it, sighs, and goes back to work.


	8. Bucky's Aftermath

By the time Bucky gets back to the tower, he’s seen three camera flashes, which means plenty of people have taken photos of his chaotic demeanor.

Whatever, he’ll have Tony deal with it.

Bucky is trying to be good. Bucky is trying to be nice and he’s trying to adjust and he is good. He’s not a monster anymore, he decides.

Closer to Stark Tower he finally decides he’s not going to tell Steve that he loves him. Steve and Sharon can do what Steve and Sharon will do, and Bucky will deal with it. Everything will be fine.

As Bucky walks through the lobby of Stark Tower, something big and blond that smells like Steve crashes into him. 

“What the hell, Buck?!” exclaims Steve into Bucky’s shoulder.

Oh right, he forgot about his behaviour at dinner. “I know, I know, I’m sorry about dinner last night. I’ve just… I had a flashback. Or a dream. I’m not really sure,” he says. He’s not lying, right? The dreams happened after dinner, but that’s good enough.

“The DINNER? Bucky? You DISAPPEARED ALL NIGHT!” Steve shouts in utter disbelief as he detaches himself from Bucky. He looks at Bucky with an extremely confusion expression.

“Steve, I’m a supersoldier, what’s the worst that could’ve happened?”

Steve looks so fed up that Bucky can’t help but laugh. Steve shouts over his shoulder, “Call the team. Tell them we found him.”

Oh shit. “You guys were looking for me?” Bucky asks, completely clueless.

“Are you kidding? We were worried sick? And you left your cellphone and wallet at the restaurant, so no one could find you, and when we got back and you weren’t here I panicked. Tony thinks you ran away.”

Although Bucky might have to face the consequences of this from the other members of the Avengers, his heart warms at the thought that everyone worried about him. 

Steve is looking at him with such relief. And a little anger, but that’s okay. Steve’s hand also somehow got onto Bucky’s shoulder, and is staying there.

Four hours later, Steve and Bucky are sitting on the couch pressed together while Bucky is getting scolded by just about everyone else.

The entire team is in the living room glaring to some degree at him. Natasha and Tony are arguing with each other while yelling at Bucky. Clint is standing against the wall taking everything in, and Sam is sitting across from them on the windowsill. Bucky can’t complain much though, because Steve has been touching him ever since he got back. First it was Steve’s hand on his shoulder, then it was Steve slinging his arm around Bucky, and so on. And now Steve’s whole right side was leaning into Bucky’s left side. Steve must have really been worried.

Bucky wasn’t going to tell Steve that he loved him, but he could still enjoy the little things in life.

Sam was definitely the scariest of them all at that moment. Yet again, he looked at Bucky as if he knew exactly what Bucky was thinking, as if he knew exactly how much he was enjoying it. He also looked as if he was shaking his head, but he wasn’t. It was more than slightly terrifying.

After a lot of “Don’t go anywhere without your phone again!” and “Don’t make us worry like that ever again!”, Bucky was freed from the first round of yelling. Then, most of the members left, scowling at him, and leaving him alone with Steve… and Sam.

Sam was just staring at him. Motionless. Eyes pointed straight through him.

“You dumb motherfucker,” he starts.

“Now, Sam—”, Steve starts, trying to defend Bucky.

“YOU. Shut up,” Sam says to Steve, who looks taken aback.

Bucky’s eyes go wide. This is serious.

“You, with all your history, are not allowed to do that,” Sam continues. “I know that you are not the Winter Soldier anymore, and that you are trying to be good, and I respect that a lot. But seriously, you cannot just wander off from us, you hear?” 

Bucky nods solemnly.

“Good,” Sam says as he gets up and leaves the living room.

A moment of silence passes before Steve suggests they watch a movie. They do. Still pressed together in the couch.


	9. Steve's Aftermath

Steve is going out of his mind panicking. When they returned to Stark Tower a few hours ago, Bucky wasn’t there. At first, Steve thought that maybe he was taking the long way home, but it had been four hours since he saw Bucky.

Tony is rolling his eyes at Natasha as she paces in front of them. 

“He may have just run away,” Tony says casually.

Natasha stops talking and turns to glare at him along with Steve. 

“No. Bucky wouldn’t have left me,” Steve tries.

“Yeah, yeah, you guys are a team and all that. But maybe he got tired of being good. Maybe he got tired of those art classes or something,” Tony tries to make a joke.

Steve is not amused. He’s very worried. He thinks Bucky had a panic attack or a flashback at the restaurant and decided to walk it off, but what if something else had happened? What if someone bad had found him in his vulnerable position? What if he had actually turned back? Steve should have followed him. Steve shouldn’t have left him.

He remembers walking into the bathroom and seeing Bucky trying to harden his expression. He saw the vulnerability just before it passed. When Bucky hugged him he knew it was bad. That Bucky was in a bad place. 

If Steve hadn’t been spending so much time with Sharon, maybe he would have seen it sooner. Seen that Bucky was having a hard time adjusting, or that he was having a hard time keeping the Winter Soldier in, or something like that. Steve would have noticed, but Steve was distracted.

Bucky was always there for Steve when they were younger. Bucky was always there to help Steve recover from whatever new ailment he had procured. Even if Bucky had dames he would be with Steve when he was really sick. Always.

But now, Steve had abandoned him. If Bucky didn’t come back all right, Steve would never forgive himself. He should have known something was up with Bucky. He should have noticed.

 

When Bucky walks through the lobby of Stark Tower, looking like a mess in the suit he was wearing yesterday, Steve feels like a physical weight is lifted off of his chest.

Bucky is here. Bucky is safe.

Before he knows it, Steve is hugging Bucky tight. He doesn’t want to let go. When he finally detaches from him and looks at him, Steve really just wants to… kiss him. 

Wait, where did that come from?

Steve wants to kiss Bucky softly and sweetly and tell him that he’s going to be okay. 

Why? He’ll deal with this later. For now, he’ll deal with everyone else. He knows that the other members of the team are going to be angry.

A few hours later he realises that he’s been in physical contact with Bucky since he returned.

 

Bucky and Steve have always gone together. Steve and Bucky. Bucky and Steve. 

Between the Second World War and the Sokovia Accords he knows that him and Bucky are still a team.

Maybe this is why Sharon didn’t feel right, because him and Bucky should be together. Him and Bucky should be the team. 

Did he want Bucky? Did he really want him? The way he should want Sharon? Did he want to kiss him? Really?

This was all confusing. He had had to think about this a little bit when they were younger, but at that time it was easy to push it down because thoughts like that were so taboo. This was different. Technically, if he wanted Bucky (and Bucky wanted him), he could have him.

Regardless, he needs to end things with Sharon. Even if he doesn’t know if he really wants Bucky, he knows that he can’t think that if he really liked Sharon. She was great, really, but it just wasn’t amazing. There were no chills when he saw her. 

He’s jolted out of his thoughts when Sam opens the door. 

Sam walks in looking fed up with everything. “You need to talk to your boy, man. You really need him to tell you his whole deal. Seriously.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will. I gotta deal with something else first.”

Sam looks confused, but nods and leaves anyway.


	10. Loose Ends

“What’s wrong, Steve?” Sharon can tell that Steve sounds off on the phone. 

He asked if they could meet up at a small café or something. She said sure, and asked why, but Steve has been dodging.

“It’s nothing, just want to see you,” he says, incredibly unconvincingly. 

“Steve,” Sharon says, her voice firm.

“We just… we need to talk, Shar,” he says quietly. 

“Okay, I’ll be there,” she says, and hangs up. 

Maybe he has come to the same conclusion she had earlier. And he chooses Bucky. She knows that’s what this is about, in her heart. She knew it wasn’t going to work out, but she can’t help being sad. 

She’s at home, so she walks over to her cupboard, grabs a chocolate bar and watches some television for a while.

***

A few hours later, Steve is waiting for Sharon at the small café. He is very nervous, and a little embarrassed because he has to tell Sharon it’s not working out anymore.

When Sharon walks into the café, she looks like she knows exactly what’s about to happen. It breaks Steve even more. Steve gets up to greet her.

“Hey, Sharon.”

“Steve.”

“How are you doing? What can I get you to drink?”

“I’m good. Just… let’s talk, Steve.”

Steve looks up at her. “I’m not going to lie. I don’t think this is working out anymore.”

She looks somewhere between relieved and sad. “I figured.”

“I’m so sorry, Sharon.”

“Don’t be sorry. It was nice when it lasted.”

“I am. I’ve known it would come to this and I—”

“Tell Bucky how you feel about him, okay?”

Steve is completely taken aback.

“What? No, this isn’t about him and—”

“Sure it isn’t,” she says. She smiles and gets up. “All the best, Steve.”

Steve is silent as she leaves. Now what is he going to do?

***

Steve walks back to Stark Tower slowly. A group of people come up to him asking for his autograph, so he puts on his best smile and charm and signs what he needs to sign. They leave him by saying, “You’re amazing!” Steve doesn’t really think so anymore.

Sharon knew. He wonders how long she knew. He feels so bad because he feels relieved but he just broke up with her. Maybe this was just meant to happen. Now he can be with Bucky. If he really wants him. Why are feelings so complicated? It doesn’t matter, he’ll deal with his own feelings later. Now he has to help Bucky. 

When he gets back to Stark Tower he walks straight to Bucky’s room and knocks on the door. 

A voice from inside says, “Come in!”

Steve goes in and sees Bucky sketching in his sketchbook on his bed. Steve laughs. 

“What are ya doing, Buck?” he asks.

“Trying to draw a cat,” Bucky responds. Steve nods at the sketchbook, and Bucky shakes his head vigorously in responds.

“It’s really bad,” he says.

“Oh, come on, lemme see,” Steve says, pouting.

“Fine,” Bucky retorts.

Bucky tips the front of the sketchbook down. Even though it’s upside down, Steve can see that it looks… off. So he chuckles. 

“Hey! Be nice!” Bucky exclaims.

“Sorry, sorry, I am. It’s good. You’re good.”

Bucky looks suspicious. “What did you want?”

“Just wanted to remind you that you can talk to me. About anything.”

Bucky puts his sketchbook down and gestures for Steve to come and sit on the edge of his bed.

“What really happened at the restaurant, Buck?” 

Bucky looks up at him. Tears start to swell in his eyes. “Nothing,” he tries to say, but Steve shakes his head.

“Why don’t we go somewhere and talk? What about going to Coney Island?” Steve asks. He wants to go somewhere safe, but he thinks getting them out of Stark Tower will be good for both of them.

“Yeah. Okay. Gimme a bit to finish this and we can go, alright?” Bucky asks.

Steve smiles in return.


	11. Coney Island

The whole trip to Coney Island Bucky is completely silent. He looks nervous, like he’s trying to work himself up to say something.

They get to Coney Island after dark. The moon is starting to be visible, along with the stars in the night sky. They walk side by side along the beach, seeing all the rides light up the night. They walk in silence until there’s no one around them, and then Bucky sits down abruptly. Steve pauses and looks around at the secluded spot they’ve come to. Bucky is tense, shoulders tight near his body.

“So,” Steve starts.

“I fell asleep by the river. I saw myself trying to kill you again that night,” Bucky says.

“It wasn’t you,” Steve says.

“But it was. And that’s fine. It just got me worked up, that’s all. But there’s nothing to worry about, I’m fine,” he says, forcing a smile.

Steve sees through it though, and just looks at Bucky patiently. Bucky’s teeth are going at his lips while he is thinking. He keeps chewing and gnawing at them, and Steve is trying not to just blatantly stare at them.

“Safe space,” Bucky whispers after a while.

“What?” Steve asks.

“You are my safe space.”

Steve just looks at the side of Bucky’s face. What does that mean? His safe space? Then Bucky turns to look at him and he looks so raw and honest so Steve reaches over and holds his hand. At the contact, all of the tension leaves Bucky’s shoulders. 

Bucky looks at Steve, and his eyes flicker down for a brief moment to Steve’s lips. Steve notices they’ve moved closer. Bucky’s breathing speeds up and Steve takes that as a hint. He leans in, just slightly, and Bucky’s eyes go wide. Steve panics and tries to retreat but Bucky’s hand on his lower back stops him.

“Sorry, no, wait,” Bucky says, and pulls Steve closer. This time Bucky cocks his head a little bit and looks up at Steve, giving him the opportunity to retreat if he wants to this time. 

Steve doesn’t, of course, and leans into Bucky’s lips. It’s a soft kiss, a gentle peck. But Steve loves it. Steve loves it so much. If he could, he would keep this kiss in a box and hide it under his bed for memories sake.

They both pause, breathing in each other for a few seconds before Steve kisses Bucky again, harder this time. One of Bucky’s hands moves higher up Steve’s back. Steve turns his head to deepen the kiss, and soon enough they’re moaning into each other’s mouths. Tongues mix with tongues, and it feels like hours before they part. Bucky is smiling. Steve is smiling. They look at each other and laugh. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner,” Steve says softly.

“See what?” Bucky asks.

“That this was what was supposed to happen. I mean, I’m with you? Until the end of the line? That’s so cheesy. Oh my god,” Steve says.

Bucky laughs and pulls him in again for another long kiss. He could easily fall in love with the way Steve tastes. He’s already fallen in love with Steve, after all.

Some indescribable time later, they decide to go back to Stark Tower. They walk hand-in-hand all the way home, despite all the looks they get.

As soon as they get back to the apartment, Steve’s mouth is on Bucky’s again, and it feels like they haven’t seen each other in years with the way that their mouths are attacking the other. Steve walks Bucky until his back hits the wall. Steve’s hand reaches down and lifts Bucky’s knee up and pulls it toward him.

“Fuck, Steve,” Bucky utters between kisses.

“That’s the plan,” Steve says. They both stop kissing to laugh at that one.

“Room?” Steve asks.

Bucky nods his approval. They run back to Steve’s room. As soon as the door is closed, they’re on each other again, this time with Steve’s back against the door. Bucky kisses him deep as he unbuttons Steve’s shirt. Steve chuckles against him and reaches for Bucky’s shirt.

Shirts off, they walk back until they reach the bed. Bucky’s back hits the bed and Steve lies on top of him. With his hands on either side of Bucky’s head, Steve smiles softly at him. Bucky smiles back. Then mouths are on mouths again and hands go into grab hair and hands roam over backs.

Bucky is so elated. He is so happy, so happy that there are no words to describe his happiness. Steve is his now. And, as usual, he is Steve’s.

***

Sam lies awake in his bed, wondering if Bucky feels any better after his night in the shadows. Although they don’t always get along, Sam worries about Bucky’s safety. So, he decides to go by Bucky’s room and see what’s up. Maybe they can talk. Maybe he’ll talk to Sam. Sam has gone to war, after all. Sam can help.

So, he picks himself up off his bed and wanders down the hall. He gets to Bucky’s room and he knocks on the door. No response.

That’s strange, he thinks. He then goes to Steve’s room and is about to knock when he hears, “Fuck, Steve!”

His eyes go wide. That sounds like… Bucky. Nope. Nope nope nope. He turns around and immediately walks back to his room.

Well, at least they figured their shit out, he thinks. Better than Bucky moping and Steve moping and dancing around each other and all that. But really? Why did he have to hear that? 

He shakes his head and turns his lights out and goes to bed. He'll just embarass them tomorrow morning and have his fun then.


End file.
